So I'm at work browsing for photos of Kohler logos for an ad...and I find this.
From the terrible jazz hands to the shiny pants...it's epic.
I can't turn away. It's like a train wreck.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Caption this ridiculous photo...now!
So I'm at work browsing for photos of Kohler logos for an ad...and I find this.
From the terrible jazz hands to the shiny pants...it's epic.
I can't turn away. It's like a train wreck.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
This is the last time that I will rant about this...I promise.
Some of you may know -- or may not know -- that I like to write fiction. That is...I like to write fiction when my muse isn't being a huge bitch and deciding that she'd rather be uninspired than help me out.
Which is why...when I had an actual good idea for a short novella of sorts back at the end of August, I was stoked. I wrote the piece and finished it in November. I posted it on the site where I have posted for the last EIGHT years. And that was that. It was all published. People liked it. Hell, it even got nominated for a fiction award.
And then yesterday, I get an e-mail from someone telling me that they were reading on a Fan Fiction site for Tokyo Hotel and came across this story...and low and behold...IT WAS MINE. Someone ripped OFF my story and then tried to pass it off as fan fiction...only bothering to change the names. They even kept the same summary that I'd posted on my original story's site.
The first feeling I had was disappointment that someone would stoop so low. Then I got angry.
Here was this "author" who said they wrote the story after a "dream" (which is not at all where my inspiration came from...how lame). People could comment on the story...and I got mad when I read comments telling the "author" how great the story was...then got even ANGRIER when I saw that the "author" had responded thanking them for their kind words and they were just "hard at work on the next chapter" (yeah...copy and paste is just SOOOO difficult). There were lies within lies in these comments and the more I read, the more pissed off I was.
I sent the mods at the board a long e-mail letting them know that this had occurred...here was the link for my story...notice these publication dates. Would they please take it down? Etc. Etc.
The second step of the process was to alert my readers that this had happened. I posted a rather long and lengthy author's note expressing my concern over the issue and stating that if the matter wasn't dealt with in 24-48 hours, I would be removing the story and pulling out of the Fiction Awards.
40 minutes after that message to the mods of the fan fiction site...the story was no longer on the site and the user's account was taken down. I don't know if it was the mods or the actual poster who did this...but I guess that at this moment...that's not really important. The work has been taken down.
Which leads me to my rant within a rant.
Many of my reader's responded to the author's note with words of encouragement and I am so incredibly grateful for their support.
In fact, my best writer friend (and one of my closest friends even though we don't talk nearly as much as we should because we're both busy) Heather called me to check on me and see how I was holding up. If you stumble across this post...thank you Heather...for being so supportive of my writing and for taking the time to call me and talk to me about this. You calmed me down immensely. I super appreciate it.
But then I got a few messages from others that just infuriated me even more about the whole issue. Some of them stated that I should be "flattered" that someone would take my work. That must mean it's good. That this other person just couldn't come up with a better idea than mine. How could stealing my work possibly be insulting. The other author and I both know who wrote it...and shouldn't that be enough?
HELL NO, that's not enough. I know that this is something I faced when I published online. I guess I just figured people had good morals. That they know that stealing intellectual property and passing it off as their own isn't just morally shitty...it's ILLEGAL. And the fact that someone doesn't get how this could be insulting is just an insult in itself.
I pride myself on my work. Do I think I'm amazing or fucking incredible? No. Do I think I'm going to be the next big literary "It" girl? No. Do I write merely for reviews and fans? No.
I write because I like to. It's an expression and extension of myself. And for someone who's fictional work has been so blocked lately...this was just a huge slap in the face.
There's a difference between linking to a story you enjoy and actually claiming its yours. It's just sad to see how some think that line is blurred and don't realize how bold it really and truly is.
And that's all I'm saying for the last time on this subject.
--J
PS: Okay...one more thing. Tokyo Hotel? For real? FOR SERIOUS? God. I like some terrible music...but Tokyo Hotel? Good God. That in itself is another insult entirely. Jeez.
PPS: THAT'S all I'm saying now. Thanks. :)
Which is why...when I had an actual good idea for a short novella of sorts back at the end of August, I was stoked. I wrote the piece and finished it in November. I posted it on the site where I have posted for the last EIGHT years. And that was that. It was all published. People liked it. Hell, it even got nominated for a fiction award.
And then yesterday, I get an e-mail from someone telling me that they were reading on a Fan Fiction site for Tokyo Hotel and came across this story...and low and behold...IT WAS MINE. Someone ripped OFF my story and then tried to pass it off as fan fiction...only bothering to change the names. They even kept the same summary that I'd posted on my original story's site.
The first feeling I had was disappointment that someone would stoop so low. Then I got angry.
Here was this "author" who said they wrote the story after a "dream" (which is not at all where my inspiration came from...how lame). People could comment on the story...and I got mad when I read comments telling the "author" how great the story was...then got even ANGRIER when I saw that the "author" had responded thanking them for their kind words and they were just "hard at work on the next chapter" (yeah...copy and paste is just SOOOO difficult). There were lies within lies in these comments and the more I read, the more pissed off I was.
I sent the mods at the board a long e-mail letting them know that this had occurred...here was the link for my story...notice these publication dates. Would they please take it down? Etc. Etc.
The second step of the process was to alert my readers that this had happened. I posted a rather long and lengthy author's note expressing my concern over the issue and stating that if the matter wasn't dealt with in 24-48 hours, I would be removing the story and pulling out of the Fiction Awards.
40 minutes after that message to the mods of the fan fiction site...the story was no longer on the site and the user's account was taken down. I don't know if it was the mods or the actual poster who did this...but I guess that at this moment...that's not really important. The work has been taken down.
Which leads me to my rant within a rant.
Many of my reader's responded to the author's note with words of encouragement and I am so incredibly grateful for their support.
In fact, my best writer friend (and one of my closest friends even though we don't talk nearly as much as we should because we're both busy) Heather called me to check on me and see how I was holding up. If you stumble across this post...thank you Heather...for being so supportive of my writing and for taking the time to call me and talk to me about this. You calmed me down immensely. I super appreciate it.
But then I got a few messages from others that just infuriated me even more about the whole issue. Some of them stated that I should be "flattered" that someone would take my work. That must mean it's good. That this other person just couldn't come up with a better idea than mine. How could stealing my work possibly be insulting. The other author and I both know who wrote it...and shouldn't that be enough?
HELL NO, that's not enough. I know that this is something I faced when I published online. I guess I just figured people had good morals. That they know that stealing intellectual property and passing it off as their own isn't just morally shitty...it's ILLEGAL. And the fact that someone doesn't get how this could be insulting is just an insult in itself.
I pride myself on my work. Do I think I'm amazing or fucking incredible? No. Do I think I'm going to be the next big literary "It" girl? No. Do I write merely for reviews and fans? No.
I write because I like to. It's an expression and extension of myself. And for someone who's fictional work has been so blocked lately...this was just a huge slap in the face.
There's a difference between linking to a story you enjoy and actually claiming its yours. It's just sad to see how some think that line is blurred and don't realize how bold it really and truly is.
And that's all I'm saying for the last time on this subject.
--J
PS: Okay...one more thing. Tokyo Hotel? For real? FOR SERIOUS? God. I like some terrible music...but Tokyo Hotel? Good God. That in itself is another insult entirely. Jeez.
PPS: THAT'S all I'm saying now. Thanks. :)
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Songs I CANNOT Stop Listening To...
The first three tracks are all Lily Allen...and that's because I am absolutely obsessed with her new CD. It seriously is genius. Sure, her record label has given her so much shit to put this one out...but the time lapse was worth it. Because it's seriously incredible. Plus...I totally admire Lily Allen.
Track One
Song: "Everyone's At It"
Artist: Lily Allen
Best Thing About This Song: The whole song is just incredible. It's all about how we take pills and why people do drugs and shit. I love it. Plus, it's catchy as hell.
Best Lyric: It's hard to pick one part of this song...the flow and the entirety are what make it genius...but if I must pick... "Why can’t we all, all just be honest?/Admit to ourselves that everyone’s on it/From grown politicians to young adolescence/Prescribing themselves anti depressants."
Track Two
Song: "The Fear"
Artist: Lily Allen
Best Thing About This Song: It's Allen's introspection. It's catchy as hell. Plus the video is fantastic.
Best Lyric: "And I am a weapon of massive consumption/And its not my fault it’s how I’m programmed to function."
Track Three
Song: Lily Allen
Artist: "Fuck You"
Best Thing About This Song: It just sounds so so so happy. But the message is just so nasty. I love that.
Best Lyric: "You’re just some racist who can’t tie my laces."
Track Four
Song: "Swagga Like Us"
Artist: TI featuring M.I.A., Kanye West, Lil Wayne and Jay-Z
Best Thing About This Song: As if M.I.A. performing this at the Grammy's on her due date wasn't epic enough...it's the first rap song in ages that I've absolutely loved. Plus, I hate Kanye...and I really don't mind him in this song.
Best Lyric: " You can pay for school but you can't buy class."
Track Five
Song: "Feeling Good"
Artist: Muse
Best Thing About This Song: Granted it's a cover...but it's a great one. I love this song because it's all about feeling good...but it's got a sound that's heavy and dark. I just think that's fantastic.
Best Lyric: "It's a new dawn/It's a new day/It's a new life/For me.../And I'm feeling good."
Tracks Six-Nine
Songs: "No More Gas" & "United States of Pop (2008 Edition - "Viva La Pop")" & "Kiss Britney's Boyfriend" & "Break the Teen Spirit"
Artists: Totally various.
Best Thing About This Song: Um...still loving the mash-ups. These are my favorites (some of them still).
Best Lyric: They're mash-ups. Lyrics aren't really what you download them for.
Track Ten
Song: "Fucking Boyfriend"
Artist: The Bird and the Bee
Best Thing About This Song: Clearly, I'm still obsessed with this song.
Best Lyric: "Would you ever be my, would you be my f-cking boyfriend?"
Track Eleven
Song: "Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades"
Artist: Brand New
Best Thing About This Song: I love how this song just sounds like sex. It's vague and breathy...but musically amazing. This is my favorite Brand New song. Nothing else they do compares to this CD.
Best Lyric: "He is the lamb, she is the slaughter./She's moving way too fast, and all he wanted was to hold her./Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect./He whispers that he loves her/But she's probably only looking for..."
Track Twelve
Song: "Chasing Pavements"
Artist: Adele
Best Thing About This Song: I love her voice. I love this song. It's that simple.
Best Lyric: "Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?/Even if it leads nowhere/Or would it be a waste?/Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?"
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Why doesn't anyone wear pants in music videos anymore!?!
While I was down and out with the flu a few weeks ago, I was hit with a bout of insomnia. So I retreated downstairs and sat myself down in front of the TV at 3:30 AM and got stuck watching infomercials (which are not as awesome as they used to be). Until 4, when VH1 aired their Top 20 Countdown of the week.
So I'm sitting there, watching these videos, feeling absolutely terrible. And about fifteen songs into the countdown, I was hit with an epiphany.
Girls no longer wear pants or even try to cover their asses anymore in music videos. It's all hot pants or leotards or super mini skirts. I'm not even going to rant on about how this can be related to how we're trying to show young girls they need to appear. I'm not really into that feminist ranting bullshit.
No.
This is simply about the fact that no one wears pants or shorts or acceptable skirts that thoroughly cover one's ass.
This observation isn't even something I can pin only on artists I dislike...but on those that I really honestly enjoy.
It's like pants went out of style like acid wash jeans did.
Here's my evidence:
The Charged: Britney Spears
First Time Offense? Somewhat...The lack of pants in this video is a record...but she usually covers her ass.
Video: "Circus"
We all know I love Britney. We all know I love this song. We all know I love this video. What I understand is why she doesn't wear pants in this video. I mean, who wears pants to a circus? Okay. So a lot of people wear pants to a circus...but at a Britney Spears circus who wears pants? I guess that's the very skewed point that I'm trying to make.
The Charged: Maja Ivarsson
First Time Offense? Repeat Offender
Video: "Queen of Apology" Live in Finland
Okay. So it may not technically be a "music video" but it's official and therefore I count it. Maja is one of those female singers in an otherwise Swedish guy band...and she's absolutely incredible. She's also guilty of performing in outfits like the one above. Often. At concerts. On live TV appearances.
The Charged: Lady Gaga
First Time Offense? No. Total Repeat Offender. Like an every video repeat offender.
Video: "Lovegame" & "Poker Face" & "Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)" & "Beautiful Dirty Rich" & "Just Dance"
Seriously. Lady Gaga's music is so fucking infectious. When I was living in North Carolina, I helped my aunt paint her downstairs bathroom...and had "The Fame" on repeat the whole time. Her music is so much fun to dance to. But she never wears pants. Okay. So that's a lie. She usually starts out in something that somewhat covers her ass, then somewhere during the video, she loses said ass-coverage. For example, at the start of "Poker Face" she has tight leather pants on. They look like they're painted on her. But 58 seconds into it...she is wearing this blue leotard that looks like a throwback to Britney's airline hostess outfit in "Toxic." See?
She was even cited by a bike cop a few years ago at a music festival for indecent exposure because she was wearing hot pants around.
I give her props for sticking to her image at all times...but want to know if in a past life she was strangled with a pair of pants or something.
The Charged: Rihanna
First Time Offense? Yes...but only as of late.
Video: "Disturbia" and "Umbrella"
I have this love/hate relationship with David LaChapelle who shot Rihanna's "Disturbia" video. He does some totally awesome things -- like this video -- then some really really weird things (have you seen half his photographic portfolio???). But she doesn't wear pants in this video. She's been doing this the past few years though. "Umbrella" lacked pants too. She also stole my haircut.
The Charged: Beyonce
First Time Offense? We'll say yes, for the simple fact that I don't feel like going back and watching multiple Beyonce or Destiny's Child videos at the moment. We'll let her off with a warning.
Video: "Single Ladies"
Okay. So the purist in me hates Beyonce for going solo and leaving Destiny's Child behind (even though we all know Destiny's Child was pretty much Beyonce with the other two put in every now and again). But I kind of really like this song...and how simple the video is. But she still isn't wearing pants.
So there's all the evidence I'm willing to drudge up right now.
But seriously.
Is there a pant shortage in Hollywood? Are leotards making a comeback?
Good God...I hope not.
So I'm sitting there, watching these videos, feeling absolutely terrible. And about fifteen songs into the countdown, I was hit with an epiphany.
Girls no longer wear pants or even try to cover their asses anymore in music videos. It's all hot pants or leotards or super mini skirts. I'm not even going to rant on about how this can be related to how we're trying to show young girls they need to appear. I'm not really into that feminist ranting bullshit.
No.
This is simply about the fact that no one wears pants or shorts or acceptable skirts that thoroughly cover one's ass.
This observation isn't even something I can pin only on artists I dislike...but on those that I really honestly enjoy.
It's like pants went out of style like acid wash jeans did.
Here's my evidence:
The Charged: Britney Spears
First Time Offense? Somewhat...The lack of pants in this video is a record...but she usually covers her ass.
Video: "Circus"
We all know I love Britney. We all know I love this song. We all know I love this video. What I understand is why she doesn't wear pants in this video. I mean, who wears pants to a circus? Okay. So a lot of people wear pants to a circus...but at a Britney Spears circus who wears pants? I guess that's the very skewed point that I'm trying to make.
The Charged: Maja Ivarsson
First Time Offense? Repeat Offender
Video: "Queen of Apology" Live in Finland
Okay. So it may not technically be a "music video" but it's official and therefore I count it. Maja is one of those female singers in an otherwise Swedish guy band...and she's absolutely incredible. She's also guilty of performing in outfits like the one above. Often. At concerts. On live TV appearances.
The Charged: Lady Gaga
First Time Offense? No. Total Repeat Offender. Like an every video repeat offender.
Video: "Lovegame" & "Poker Face" & "Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)" & "Beautiful Dirty Rich" & "Just Dance"
Seriously. Lady Gaga's music is so fucking infectious. When I was living in North Carolina, I helped my aunt paint her downstairs bathroom...and had "The Fame" on repeat the whole time. Her music is so much fun to dance to. But she never wears pants. Okay. So that's a lie. She usually starts out in something that somewhat covers her ass, then somewhere during the video, she loses said ass-coverage. For example, at the start of "Poker Face" she has tight leather pants on. They look like they're painted on her. But 58 seconds into it...she is wearing this blue leotard that looks like a throwback to Britney's airline hostess outfit in "Toxic." See?
She was even cited by a bike cop a few years ago at a music festival for indecent exposure because she was wearing hot pants around.
I give her props for sticking to her image at all times...but want to know if in a past life she was strangled with a pair of pants or something.
The Charged: Rihanna
First Time Offense? Yes...but only as of late.
Video: "Disturbia" and "Umbrella"
I have this love/hate relationship with David LaChapelle who shot Rihanna's "Disturbia" video. He does some totally awesome things -- like this video -- then some really really weird things (have you seen half his photographic portfolio???). But she doesn't wear pants in this video. She's been doing this the past few years though. "Umbrella" lacked pants too. She also stole my haircut.
The Charged: Beyonce
First Time Offense? We'll say yes, for the simple fact that I don't feel like going back and watching multiple Beyonce or Destiny's Child videos at the moment. We'll let her off with a warning.
Video: "Single Ladies"
Okay. So the purist in me hates Beyonce for going solo and leaving Destiny's Child behind (even though we all know Destiny's Child was pretty much Beyonce with the other two put in every now and again). But I kind of really like this song...and how simple the video is. But she still isn't wearing pants.
So there's all the evidence I'm willing to drudge up right now.
But seriously.
Is there a pant shortage in Hollywood? Are leotards making a comeback?
Good God...I hope not.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Something else I stole off Facebook...
The Name Survey
1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Julie Miller
2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother and fathers middle names)
Ann Alan
3. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Earl Harold
4. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Milju
5. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Dinosaur
6. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, town where you were born)
Elizabeth Warren
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Green Screwdriver
8. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Jumi
9. STREET NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Vanilla Chocolate Chip
10. ROCK STAR NAME (pet's name and street where you live)
Sadie Canton
11. PORN NAME: (1st pet, moms maiden name)
Greer Nobles
12. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Julizzle
13. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name)
Ulel
14. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Sadie
15. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Glamour Kills Snickers
1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Julie Miller
2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother and fathers middle names)
Ann Alan
3. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Earl Harold
4. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Milju
5. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Dinosaur
6. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, town where you were born)
Elizabeth Warren
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Green Screwdriver
8. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Jumi
9. STREET NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Vanilla Chocolate Chip
10. ROCK STAR NAME (pet's name and street where you live)
Sadie Canton
11. PORN NAME: (1st pet, moms maiden name)
Greer Nobles
12. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Julizzle
13. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name)
Ulel
14. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Sadie
15. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Glamour Kills Snickers
Monday, February 9, 2009
My inner 13-year-old is peeing herself with excitement...
Um...can we discuss the fact that blink-182 are supposedly "together" again...and that they're working on recording new stuff and possibly touring? When weeks ago they were saying that was far off...if never happening again? Travis just had that horrible plane wreck (and impending lawsuit). Mark broke up +44 and was supposedly "working" on a solo record. Tom (to me) has made the most of the split, forming Angels & Airwaves and building up a huge fan base.The inner-13-year-old in me is peeing herself with excitement over the idea that one of my favorite bands could possibly be reuiniting...but the 22-year-old in me is wary. Blink was the band that got me into a lot of the different music I'm into today. They were my gateway band so to speak...so they'll always be near and dear to me (no matter what other people say). But at the same time...did everyone just suddenly forget the terrible break up they had?
I'd pretty much given up any hope for a reunion. Due to the fact that I've only honestly recently gotten into the whole concert thing (damn you social anxiety disorder...and damn you Warren from being so far away from all the good venues)...I figured I'd never see Mark, Tom and Travis perform together.
So instead, I went about it in an odd way to make sure I saw them all live. I got the chance to see +44 open for Fall Out Boy on the Honda Civic Tour...but was sad because they seriously felt like a blink-182 cover band...I always kind of took Tom's side in the whole ordeal (he was my favorite member after all...even my inner thirteen year old is still in love with him...). Mark and Travis were quick to attack him, saying that the way he handled things was so "incredibly immature." Tom stayed silent through the whole ordeal, taking the higher road and starting Angels & Airwaves. Only recently (this past summer) did he talk about it on an AVA DVD, stating his side of the break up was due to the fact that he wanted to spend more time with his family...and the other guys didn't respect that.
Tom rant aside...this past summer, it was like my dream was coming full circle when I got to see Angels & Airwaves perform on the Warped Tour. I can honestly say that I love AVA. I love their sound. I love what they stand for. It was an amazing show and definitely is in my Top 5 Concert Experiences.So as stoked as I am for a blink reunion...I'm also nervous. What's going to happen? Are they just doing this for cash or do they seriously want to do it for the music and the fans again? Furthermore, what does this mean for the future of AVA (who were really just getting started)? I can't help but think about how nervous Tom looked at the Grammy's last nite when they made the announcement.
What it boils down to is this. I'm all for a blink reunion if it's what they all want. But if, in the end, all the guys want to do is repair their friendships (because that seriously was one of the things that made this band so fantastic...the camaraderie between the three of them until shit got bad) and forego the music...I would be completely fine with that too.
All I know is that I'm not completely getting my hopes up. Not yet anyway.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
An Open Letter to Yogurt
Dear Yogurt-
I've been on this kick lately to eat healthier. Part of this involves actually going to the grocery store with my mom and picking out healthier snacks for work and lunch.
And I always find myself standing in front of the case where you reside in dairy.
As a child, I used to tug my mother to your aisle and force her to stand there while I picked out what type of yogurt I was going to buy.
I would be so excited to see those cartons all lined up. Strawberry? Blueberry? Raspberry? What kind would I take home and immediately rip into?
And once I got home and I had you in my hands with a spoon, I would peel your top off (God, this sounds dirty), mix your fruit up from the bottom...and take that first bite.
Which is where my yogurt confession comes in.
I absolutely, one hundred and fifty thousand percent detest yogurt.
I hate the taste of it. It doesn't matter if it's the kind you mix the fruit off the bottom, smooth and creamy, whipped...hell, not even that Creamsavers kind of yogurt can turn me. There's just something about that bizarre taste and consistency that lingers with yogurt.
But for some reason, I continually go back to the yogurt case. For some reason, I'm convinced that maybe, just maybe, my opinion of you would have changed. But alas, I still hate yogurt. I mean, sure, I can eat it in a smoothie when its blended with fresh fruit...but alone? Out of the container?
So today, I decided to go back to the yogurt freezer...and decided upon some Yoplait Whipped Light and Flurry Orange Creme yogurt. I mean, it's whipped. It couldn't possibly have that flavor that all other Yoplait has, rite?
Wrong.
And now, I sit here, staring at the empty carton (I have no problem throwing away a five dollar sandwich I hate...but an 80 cent yogurt going to waste makes me feel guilty)...wondering how the hell I'm going to get through the rest of the yogurt I felt it was necessary to purchase today.
Why do you keep pulling me back into your clutches, yogurt? Why?
--J
I've been on this kick lately to eat healthier. Part of this involves actually going to the grocery store with my mom and picking out healthier snacks for work and lunch.
And I always find myself standing in front of the case where you reside in dairy.
As a child, I used to tug my mother to your aisle and force her to stand there while I picked out what type of yogurt I was going to buy.
I would be so excited to see those cartons all lined up. Strawberry? Blueberry? Raspberry? What kind would I take home and immediately rip into?
And once I got home and I had you in my hands with a spoon, I would peel your top off (God, this sounds dirty), mix your fruit up from the bottom...and take that first bite.
Which is where my yogurt confession comes in.
I absolutely, one hundred and fifty thousand percent detest yogurt.
I hate the taste of it. It doesn't matter if it's the kind you mix the fruit off the bottom, smooth and creamy, whipped...hell, not even that Creamsavers kind of yogurt can turn me. There's just something about that bizarre taste and consistency that lingers with yogurt.
But for some reason, I continually go back to the yogurt case. For some reason, I'm convinced that maybe, just maybe, my opinion of you would have changed. But alas, I still hate yogurt. I mean, sure, I can eat it in a smoothie when its blended with fresh fruit...but alone? Out of the container?
So today, I decided to go back to the yogurt freezer...and decided upon some Yoplait Whipped Light and Flurry Orange Creme yogurt. I mean, it's whipped. It couldn't possibly have that flavor that all other Yoplait has, rite?
Wrong.
And now, I sit here, staring at the empty carton (I have no problem throwing away a five dollar sandwich I hate...but an 80 cent yogurt going to waste makes me feel guilty)...wondering how the hell I'm going to get through the rest of the yogurt I felt it was necessary to purchase today.
Why do you keep pulling me back into your clutches, yogurt? Why?
--J
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Excuse my hiatus...
But between having a terrible bout of the flu, the Stillers winning the Super Bowl, and work...I haven't been feeling too witty as of late.
I'll return soon, I promise. :)
I'll return soon, I promise. :)
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