Friday, November 28, 2008
Breathe you out...
Found this survey from a site I searched on Google.
PERSONAL SURVEY
Did you have a happy childhood? I had an interesting childhood. I'd like to think it was happy...but it wasn't always. Sure...you're naive, but looking back on some things, it wasn't all sunshine. I can remember when my OCD started. I remember how I figured everyone must be like that...and then when I realized that wasn't the way things were...I was crushed. I fear I made an ass of myself and acted terribly horrid at times...but all together, I can't say my childhood was unhappy...so yeah. I guess it was alright.
When do you tell white lies? Tell us one. Only all the time. I feel like my life isn't interesting enough...so at times, I'll add more to a story to make it more interesting. I don't really do this as much with my friends, because you don't lie to friends. I find myself making up little things with my parents though. When I was living in North Carolina, I lied to a lot of people and told them I was doing better...when in actuality, I was doing worse. My OCD flared up along with my anxiety. Moving back to PA has grounded me again and made me much easier to deal with (I hope).
The most capable person in your country? The American public. If this election proved anything to me...it's that everyone has a voice. America belonged to the actual public again...not the politicians. It doesn't matter who you voted for or your beliefs. It was just really refreshing to see people so vocal about issues that they stood in the background about before. Things may be going to shit, but we all wanted change and the 2008 elections proved that to me by mere voter turnout.
Favourite novelist? This is where I should name some classic author like Dickinson or Hemingway...but while I like and admire the both of them...my favorite novelist is Megan McCafferty. Her first two novels "Sloppy Firsts" and "Second Helpings" changed my life. The voice of McCafferty's protagonist -- Jessica Darling -- was the first literary character that I could fully relate to 100%. She was sarcastic. She was honest. She was funny...she was me if I were a literary character. The 3rd and 4th books haven't been as awesome (I believe the fifth and final in the series will tie it all together and make me love each and every book), but they only mangaed to humble and make Jess much more human. It was the first time that I read a book and actually felt like every character was someone that I knew from my own life.
Proudest moment? Studying abroad in London. When I decided to study abroad, I was in a really dark place in my life. I saw studying abroad as the one way to pull myself out of my funk...and it worked. The girl who got on that plane and the girl who returned home four months later are two entirely different people. The old Julie was naive and said things she didn't think about. She let people walk all over her. She didn't accept the changes that were so obviously occuring in front of her eyes. The new Julie severed ties with things that were obviously holding her back. She solidified those relationships that meant the most to her. She stood up for herself and what she believed in. I love the new Julie. A lot of people may see it as bitchiness or nastiness...but I see it has honest. It's nice to not let people tramp all over me anymore.
Worst moment? (last week if necessary) The spring of 2006. This was one of the hardest times of my life. My friends were all leaving Point Park and I was in a really weird place. My grandpa who I'd been super close had just died. I was having problems with some really really close friends that I always thought would stick around. I was having severe issues with anemia. This was the semester that I decided to go to London.
Most hated song/music at the moment? Kanye West. Everyone else sees him as a "music genius." I just think he's a huge asshole.
The last piece of music you bought? I haven't bought anything lately. I have been listening to a lot of Girls Aloud, All Saints, and Britney lately though.
Were you good at school? I was in college. During High School, I worked...but not to my full capacity. I felt like at college, I had to make it count. I was paying for it. I was getting a degree. I didn't want to coast by. I wanted to know that my degree was well deserved.
The greatest influence on you? (parents, friends ...) My family and friends...as predictable as that sounds. My family has always been supporting...even in my darkest times. My friends have always understood me. They don't expect me to put on an act or act like someone that I'm not. They accept Julie for Julie...flaws and all. My friends are like my family.
Current bedside reading material? Emily Giffin's "Something Borrowed." I accidently found this novel...but I love it. Giffin's plots are different which is refreshing in an oversaturated literary market. Also...Chelsea Cain's "Heart Sick." It was praised by Chuck Palahniuk and Tess Gerritsen (two of my favorite authors) and is one of the first 'thriller' novels that has shocked me and kept me on my toes in a very long time.
Where will you go when you die? Death is something that scares the shit out of me. I will not elaborate on this question.
What do you admire most about yourself? My newfound confidence. For so long, I just buried my head in the sand and did what was expected of me. I let people take advantage of me. I think I'm much stronger now. Instead of listening to all the ways that I've wronged people, I've moved forward. The past is the past. I've learned from it. There's no need to reflect on it. I'm in a much more positive place. I've got a great support system and people who seem to really, honestly get me and my fucked up personality.
One of your main faults? Closing myself off. Whenever I get upset, instead of talking to the people who love me most and are the most willing to help...I crouch inside myself and hide. I need to let these people in...not block them out. That's a huge fault. I love and trust these people with my life...but I hate being their burden.
A small crime you once committed? (anything at all) Speeding on my 22nd birthday. It's only fitting that Honkus got to share this experience with me. It scared the shit out of me and made me feel like shit...expecially since I was jank ass broke at the time. Paying a $150 speeding ticket was not a part of the plan.
Music you would like played at your funeral? Anything by Ryan Adams. His music is just so refreshing and honest...something I've really tried to live myself by the past few years.
The bitch is back...
Britney Spears. Britney Spears. Britney fucking Spears.
Words cannot express how much I adore Britney Spears.
A connoisseur of all things pop culture...Britney Spears is the absolute icon. She dances. Her music is catchy as hell...and most of all, she's human.
When I was in high school, the individualist in me detested everything Brit stood for...but secretly, I'd lock myself in my bedroom and dance to her music as if there was no tomorrow. If N'Sync was the personification of the type of boy all fourteen-year-olds wanted to date...then Britney was the personification of what we all aspired to be. Say what you will...deny it. But know deep down that that statement's true.
Then when I got to college, I figured that hiding such idoltry was in vain, especially when she was putting herself out there to be ridiculed. I wore my Britney love on my sleeve...and ultimately, it led me to meeting my best friend, Honkus.
From that point on, I had a companion that loved Britney as much (if not much, much more) than I did. Having someone else there telling me that such an obsession was okay (even if it does go overboard sometimes) made the whole thing spiral even further. We watched her greatest hits DVD together. We cringed at the scary guy on the Onyx tour. We made music videos to her songs.
When Honkus left Point Park, our friendship stayed solid for entirely different reasons...but Britney has always been a part of the strong glue that holds our friendship together.
And then Britney started dating Kevin Federline. I'm convinced that things hadn't been happy in Brit's world for awhile...but the KFed days in Britney's life always seemed a little bizarre to me. Needless to say, words cannot express the joy I felt in November of 2006 when Brit announced she was divording Kevin Federline. The weeks that followed were a whirlwind. The girl seemed to be finally getting back on track. Sure, she was a few years older with a couple of kids...but it felt like we were growing up with her.
Then...when I was studying abroad in London during the spring of 2007, the unthinkable happened. Britney cracked. Shaving her head. In and out of rehab. Psych holds. Shady friends. Across the ocean, all I could wonder is 'What the hell is happening to my idols?' (At this time, Jenna Jameson...another one of my idols...was extremely skinny and terrifying looking. I commented on more than one occassion that she just needed to 'eat a sandwich.')
2007 in terms of Britney can only be described as shaky. Her personal life was in shambles...she lost her kids, she lost her freedom. But if this was the dark time of Miss Spears, then 'Blackout,' her first album released in years...was truly the diamond in the rough. While Britney refused to do publicity and wasn't well enough to tour, this album was strange. Her life was a wreck...but the album's tracks were incredible. For the first time ever, I could listen to an entire Britney CD without cringing at one cheesy track (half of 'Baby One More Time' anyone?). From "Piece of Me" to "Break the Ice," the album was completely unexpected from someone who clearly was going through something terribly personal.
Through all of this, Honkus and I stayed glued to the Britney fansites we read every day.
And it was during this dark period, that I grew from obsessing over Britney as an idol to actually thoroughly deeply respecting her as a human being. My own social awkwardness, anxiety and OCD were something that I'd seen as a downfall...something holding me back. Seeing Britney dealing with similar mental issues made me realize that it doesn't matter where you come from or what you have. The world's a hard place. The difference was that I could deal with my mental anguish in private and her's was recorded and documented for the world to see.
2008 rolled around and more guarded than ever...Britney's managed to turn things around for the better. "Womanizer" was released and put Britney back into the game for good.
Last nite, she performed on the Bambi Awards in Germany...and while the performance was better than last year's disastrous VMA appearance...she still seemed guarded and nervous. The performance worried me. Was she really ready for the comeback? Was she just doing this because it was expected of her? But today, she performed on France's "Star Academy"...and blew the performance straight out of the water. She was engaging...she was into it...she was the Britney that we haven't seen in years.
Unlike the end of the Bambi Awards performance, she looked genuinely happy at the end of the end of the performance.
And all I could do was smile at the end of it. Here's this idol I've had for years that I've stood up for and devoted a huge chunk of my life to...a girl who's not much older than me that's helped me cement the best friendship of my life and shown me that it's okay to go a bit crazy...it makes you more human. Flaws are part of life.
Her new album "Circus" drops on December 2. The tracks off of it are insane. They're catchy as hell and true to Brit's roots. Long gone are terrible songs like "Soda Pop" and "Dear Diary." Instead, they're replaced with catchy tracks like "Circus" and "Mannequin." Even the bonus tracks off the CD are infectious.
So needless to say...Britney's back. She may not be the crazy Britney we all knew and grew up with...but she's older and she still comes alive when she dances.
And as long as she's willing to take us along on this crazy roller coaster that she calls her life...I'm more than willing to hang on for the ride.
Words cannot express how much I adore Britney Spears.
A connoisseur of all things pop culture...Britney Spears is the absolute icon. She dances. Her music is catchy as hell...and most of all, she's human.
When I was in high school, the individualist in me detested everything Brit stood for...but secretly, I'd lock myself in my bedroom and dance to her music as if there was no tomorrow. If N'Sync was the personification of the type of boy all fourteen-year-olds wanted to date...then Britney was the personification of what we all aspired to be. Say what you will...deny it. But know deep down that that statement's true.
Then when I got to college, I figured that hiding such idoltry was in vain, especially when she was putting herself out there to be ridiculed. I wore my Britney love on my sleeve...and ultimately, it led me to meeting my best friend, Honkus.
From that point on, I had a companion that loved Britney as much (if not much, much more) than I did. Having someone else there telling me that such an obsession was okay (even if it does go overboard sometimes) made the whole thing spiral even further. We watched her greatest hits DVD together. We cringed at the scary guy on the Onyx tour. We made music videos to her songs.
When Honkus left Point Park, our friendship stayed solid for entirely different reasons...but Britney has always been a part of the strong glue that holds our friendship together.
And then Britney started dating Kevin Federline. I'm convinced that things hadn't been happy in Brit's world for awhile...but the KFed days in Britney's life always seemed a little bizarre to me. Needless to say, words cannot express the joy I felt in November of 2006 when Brit announced she was divording Kevin Federline. The weeks that followed were a whirlwind. The girl seemed to be finally getting back on track. Sure, she was a few years older with a couple of kids...but it felt like we were growing up with her.
Then...when I was studying abroad in London during the spring of 2007, the unthinkable happened. Britney cracked. Shaving her head. In and out of rehab. Psych holds. Shady friends. Across the ocean, all I could wonder is 'What the hell is happening to my idols?' (At this time, Jenna Jameson...another one of my idols...was extremely skinny and terrifying looking. I commented on more than one occassion that she just needed to 'eat a sandwich.')
2007 in terms of Britney can only be described as shaky. Her personal life was in shambles...she lost her kids, she lost her freedom. But if this was the dark time of Miss Spears, then 'Blackout,' her first album released in years...was truly the diamond in the rough. While Britney refused to do publicity and wasn't well enough to tour, this album was strange. Her life was a wreck...but the album's tracks were incredible. For the first time ever, I could listen to an entire Britney CD without cringing at one cheesy track (half of 'Baby One More Time' anyone?). From "Piece of Me" to "Break the Ice," the album was completely unexpected from someone who clearly was going through something terribly personal.
Through all of this, Honkus and I stayed glued to the Britney fansites we read every day.
And it was during this dark period, that I grew from obsessing over Britney as an idol to actually thoroughly deeply respecting her as a human being. My own social awkwardness, anxiety and OCD were something that I'd seen as a downfall...something holding me back. Seeing Britney dealing with similar mental issues made me realize that it doesn't matter where you come from or what you have. The world's a hard place. The difference was that I could deal with my mental anguish in private and her's was recorded and documented for the world to see.
2008 rolled around and more guarded than ever...Britney's managed to turn things around for the better. "Womanizer" was released and put Britney back into the game for good.
Last nite, she performed on the Bambi Awards in Germany...and while the performance was better than last year's disastrous VMA appearance...she still seemed guarded and nervous. The performance worried me. Was she really ready for the comeback? Was she just doing this because it was expected of her? But today, she performed on France's "Star Academy"...and blew the performance straight out of the water. She was engaging...she was into it...she was the Britney that we haven't seen in years.
Unlike the end of the Bambi Awards performance, she looked genuinely happy at the end of the end of the performance.
And all I could do was smile at the end of it. Here's this idol I've had for years that I've stood up for and devoted a huge chunk of my life to...a girl who's not much older than me that's helped me cement the best friendship of my life and shown me that it's okay to go a bit crazy...it makes you more human. Flaws are part of life.
Her new album "Circus" drops on December 2. The tracks off of it are insane. They're catchy as hell and true to Brit's roots. Long gone are terrible songs like "Soda Pop" and "Dear Diary." Instead, they're replaced with catchy tracks like "Circus" and "Mannequin." Even the bonus tracks off the CD are infectious.
So needless to say...Britney's back. She may not be the crazy Britney we all knew and grew up with...but she's older and she still comes alive when she dances.
And as long as she's willing to take us along on this crazy roller coaster that she calls her life...I'm more than willing to hang on for the ride.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Current Obsessions
My current loves...
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
This show is my humor to a T. Bad abortion jokes. Questionable music that sounds like whales raping each other. Charlie Day. It's fantastic.
How I Met Your Mother
I have such a gay boy crush on Neil Patrick Harris...and such a straight boy crush on Jason Segel. This show is genius too...especially this part from this episode of Season 3.
All Saints' "Rock Steady" Music Video
This video is pure genius. I don't know why...but it is.
Ryan Adams
I saw him live over a year ago...and two days later, he was on Letterman. This performance just made that concert experience thirty million times more awesome. I love his Misfits shirt...and the robots on his amps. I just love him.
Video on Trial
This program is only on in Canada...but I watch the episodes on YouTube. "Fergalicious" is the best of them, by far. Nikki Paine is my hero.
Ryan Murphy and Nip/Tuck
Nip/Tuck begins its final haul January 6th...and Ryan Murphy and his crew have done yet another amazing job on the promo. There are other promos that give away where we left off last season...but this one is just such classic Nip/Tuck.
The Legendary Miss Britney Spears
Documentary Sunday nite. New CD Tuesday (it's AWESOME). 'Nough said.
"Circus"
The best track off Brit's new CD...as of now. :)
Girls Aloud
The U.K.'s response to Danity Kane...and their music is 30,000 times better.
Other Loves
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
This show is my humor to a T. Bad abortion jokes. Questionable music that sounds like whales raping each other. Charlie Day. It's fantastic.
How I Met Your Mother
I have such a gay boy crush on Neil Patrick Harris...and such a straight boy crush on Jason Segel. This show is genius too...especially this part from this episode of Season 3.
All Saints' "Rock Steady" Music Video
This video is pure genius. I don't know why...but it is.
Ryan Adams
I saw him live over a year ago...and two days later, he was on Letterman. This performance just made that concert experience thirty million times more awesome. I love his Misfits shirt...and the robots on his amps. I just love him.
Video on Trial
This program is only on in Canada...but I watch the episodes on YouTube. "Fergalicious" is the best of them, by far. Nikki Paine is my hero.
Ryan Murphy and Nip/Tuck
Nip/Tuck begins its final haul January 6th...and Ryan Murphy and his crew have done yet another amazing job on the promo. There are other promos that give away where we left off last season...but this one is just such classic Nip/Tuck.
The Legendary Miss Britney Spears
Documentary Sunday nite. New CD Tuesday (it's AWESOME). 'Nough said.
"Circus"
The best track off Brit's new CD...as of now. :)
Girls Aloud
The U.K.'s response to Danity Kane...and their music is 30,000 times better.
Other Loves
- Fringe (and Joshua Jackson)
- Megan McCafferty's writing
- The fact that Jenna Jameson is pregnant
- Fun jewelry with weapons on it
- Stephen King's latest collection of short stories
- WWTDD.com
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Yet Another Good Magazine Bites the Dust
Can someone please tell me why it is that all the 'good things' in my life just disappear? Now, I know that this may sound incredibly emo and depressing...but I'm not talking about relationships...or jobs...or whatever.
I'm talking about 'Radar' magazine.
The summer before my last year at college, I happened to get a subscription to the magazine...not knowing really what it was about or what type of content they featured.
When that first Photoshopped cover showed up in my mailbox, however, I knew I was in love.
The article and the photos were incredibly well done. The content was witty, but intelligent. For the first time ever, I could read an entire magazine cover to cover and come out of it feeling entertained, but educated.
And when a new issue didn't arrive this month, I figured, "Hey...Maybe it was a double issue."
And then when I went to change my subscription address...I get an error message. After a quick search on Google, what do I find? The magazine "shuttered" meaning that its financial backing was pulled.
All I can wonder is why?
Radar was witty and entertaining. It was thoughtful. It was funny. It covered the 'case' of Prince Harry. They questioned what would happen if Google took over the world. They wrote thoughtful columns on toy ponies and relationships.
In a whole, it was awesome.
There is no other magazine like it on newsstands...and I can't help but feel cheated.
How is it that financial backing can get pulled on a successful magazine like 'Radar' who's first issue during their relaunch sold out and has been going strong since that relaunch? Why shut down a magazine that was heavily debated for its covers on 'The View' and 'CNN'? Why take away my 'fresh intelligence'?
I don't understand how copies of crap magazines like 'Glamour' and 'Interview' can hold financial backing. Trust me, I've subscribed to both and not only skipped half the articles...but felt like I learned absolutely nothing when I was done reading.
When did publications become so vain and brainless?
'Radar' came to me during a time when I was wondering what the hell I was doing majoring in Media...when I thought that working for a witty publication was still possible. Now what? Now who can I aspire to work for? Certainly not 'Cosmopolitan.'
I know that financial backers look for general trends with the people who buy their products, but I'm sick of being one of the few who doesn't fit into a mass mold of readers. I know plenty of people who read 'Radar' for the mere fact that it was different. As a reader, they took something away from the magazine other than a new make up tip or where to buy the new 'IT' shoe.
'Radar' magazine gave me hope that an intelligent but interesting magazine could exist...and now that it's gone, there's this huge gap.
And sadly, I don't think that any magazine will ever take its place.
I'm talking about 'Radar' magazine.
The summer before my last year at college, I happened to get a subscription to the magazine...not knowing really what it was about or what type of content they featured.
When that first Photoshopped cover showed up in my mailbox, however, I knew I was in love.
The article and the photos were incredibly well done. The content was witty, but intelligent. For the first time ever, I could read an entire magazine cover to cover and come out of it feeling entertained, but educated.
And when a new issue didn't arrive this month, I figured, "Hey...Maybe it was a double issue."
And then when I went to change my subscription address...I get an error message. After a quick search on Google, what do I find? The magazine "shuttered" meaning that its financial backing was pulled.
All I can wonder is why?
Radar was witty and entertaining. It was thoughtful. It was funny. It covered the 'case' of Prince Harry. They questioned what would happen if Google took over the world. They wrote thoughtful columns on toy ponies and relationships.
In a whole, it was awesome.
There is no other magazine like it on newsstands...and I can't help but feel cheated.
How is it that financial backing can get pulled on a successful magazine like 'Radar' who's first issue during their relaunch sold out and has been going strong since that relaunch? Why shut down a magazine that was heavily debated for its covers on 'The View' and 'CNN'? Why take away my 'fresh intelligence'?
I don't understand how copies of crap magazines like 'Glamour' and 'Interview' can hold financial backing. Trust me, I've subscribed to both and not only skipped half the articles...but felt like I learned absolutely nothing when I was done reading.
When did publications become so vain and brainless?
'Radar' came to me during a time when I was wondering what the hell I was doing majoring in Media...when I thought that working for a witty publication was still possible. Now what? Now who can I aspire to work for? Certainly not 'Cosmopolitan.'
I know that financial backers look for general trends with the people who buy their products, but I'm sick of being one of the few who doesn't fit into a mass mold of readers. I know plenty of people who read 'Radar' for the mere fact that it was different. As a reader, they took something away from the magazine other than a new make up tip or where to buy the new 'IT' shoe.
'Radar' magazine gave me hope that an intelligent but interesting magazine could exist...and now that it's gone, there's this huge gap.
And sadly, I don't think that any magazine will ever take its place.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Live from Georgia...It's Saturday Nite
And Mari and I just fed 4 boys girlie vitamins, prenatal vitamins and laxatives in a smoothie.
Hell to the fuck yes.
Hell to the fuck yes.
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