Oh Ashlee Simpson. Are you really still making music? For real? Were you not so scarred from your little incident on 'SNL' a few years ago, that it seemed like a good idea to put out yet another CD? As if you didn't break my heart enough when you started dating Pete Wentz, thus tainting any future songs he writes...not when I know they're now about you. Gah.
And damn you, Timbaland for collaborating with the younger Simpson sister. You know that your music and beats are damn near addicting. Apparently even you have a price, however, if you're willing to work with Ashlee Simpson.
Which is why with a heavy heart, I have to post this.
As much as I hate "Get Outta My Head (Ay Ay Ay)" (yes, that's the real title), I cannot quit listening to it. It's like it climbs into my brain and knows where my OCD is located so I have to put this horribly annoying song on repeat.
It has to be the beats. In no way is it the lyrics or Simpson's st-st-stuttering 'singing' which sounds more like words spoken to a beat.
And the music video...
Talk about a great way to lose brain cells.
Not since Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" have I felt myself get this stupid watching YouTube...and I should know since perusing YouTube is one of my favorite hobbies. I can watch a cat run into a wall over and over and not lose the amount of brain cells that I lose from this video.
For beginners, the video sees a 'vamped' up Ashlee rolling all around on a Rubix Cube in the sky. By vamped up, I mean that she'd be more at home as the ringleader of a circus show.
Then she goes on to flex her 'literary' muscles by re-enacting a Gulliver's Travel scene with little people crawling on her body. If only they'd waged a war on her body and ended the video sooner.
And if it can't get any worse, we later see her dressed up looking like Gwen Stefani which just seems insulting. In no way is Ashlee even of Gwen's caliber.
Let's examine the lyrics, shall we...with my comments in italics, of course.
What? Is that all you've got to say?
(Clearly, it's not, because you're going to talk whether or not I had more to say.)
What? What? You're rubbing me the wrong way
(Clearly she's delusional, because I wouldn't be rubbing her if my life depended upon it)
See your lips moving
But I don't catch a word you say
(Because she's too caught up in singing this song, getting it stuck in my head and driving me crazy.)
Shut up your chatter
(What great grammar. Shut up your chatter. Shut up your chatter. Shut up your chowder.)
I need for you to go away, uh huh
[ CHORUS ]
And all I hear is ay ya ya ya ya
(She must be speaking to a German.)
You're talking way too much
I can't even hear me now
(I'm surprised she can't hear herself...oh wait. Obviously I didn't shut up my chatter.)
All your noise is messing with my head
You're in my head
Get outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
Want you outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
Get outta my head
Outta my outta my head
Want you outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
That's what I said
(That's the chorus. That's all. It. Fini.)
What you looking at me for huh?
Show me respect or I will show you the door (Get out the door)
(She doesn't even wait for any respect. She just wants me to get out the door...like I have a closet full of spare doors and I'm just supposed to pull one out. The grammar in this song drives me insane.)
Lately, I've got a problem with the way that you behave
You're too much, and all your questions don't leave me no time for me, ha ha ha
(Imagine that. All about her. I bet in her mind, she's thinking about three things. 1. Being better than her under talented sister. 2. Wondering if her nose is still too big. 3. Being better than her under talented sister.)
[REPEAT CHORUS X2]
(Twice the chorus for dramatic effect.)
All your opinions, keep them to yourself
Just let me think so I can hear myself
(...Does she need to think out loud? Being a pain in the ass wasn't enough, now she has to be a fucking oxymoron?)
Wouldn't it be nice if I could just go solo, take the day off?
(Um...last time I checked, you were a solo singer. Unless you've adopted multiple personalities.)
I'd be alright if you would leave me to it, back out the door
Ay ya ya ya ya
You're talking way too much
You tell me one more time how I should live
I swear I'll bite your head off
(I'd like to see her unhinge her jaw and try.)
I am who I am And I can't be no one else
You got nothing left to say
(Somehow I doubt that since the song is still continuing.)
Keep your comments to yourself
Awww!
(Aww? AWW? How the fuck does this even FIT into the song?! Are we suddenly wanting the ponies and giraffes to get out of our heads?!)
Outta my, outta my head
Want you outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
Get outta my head
Outta my outta my head
Want you outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
(Sadly, this is the end.)
(Clearly, it's not, because you're going to talk whether or not I had more to say.)
What? What? You're rubbing me the wrong way
(Clearly she's delusional, because I wouldn't be rubbing her if my life depended upon it)
See your lips moving
But I don't catch a word you say
(Because she's too caught up in singing this song, getting it stuck in my head and driving me crazy.)
Shut up your chatter
(What great grammar. Shut up your chatter. Shut up your chatter. Shut up your chowder.)
I need for you to go away, uh huh
[ CHORUS ]
And all I hear is ay ya ya ya ya
(She must be speaking to a German.)
You're talking way too much
I can't even hear me now
(I'm surprised she can't hear herself...oh wait. Obviously I didn't shut up my chatter.)
All your noise is messing with my head
You're in my head
Get outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
Want you outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
Get outta my head
Outta my outta my head
Want you outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
That's what I said
(That's the chorus. That's all. It. Fini.)
What you looking at me for huh?
Show me respect or I will show you the door (Get out the door)
(She doesn't even wait for any respect. She just wants me to get out the door...like I have a closet full of spare doors and I'm just supposed to pull one out. The grammar in this song drives me insane.)
Lately, I've got a problem with the way that you behave
You're too much, and all your questions don't leave me no time for me, ha ha ha
(Imagine that. All about her. I bet in her mind, she's thinking about three things. 1. Being better than her under talented sister. 2. Wondering if her nose is still too big. 3. Being better than her under talented sister.)
[REPEAT CHORUS X2]
(Twice the chorus for dramatic effect.)
All your opinions, keep them to yourself
Just let me think so I can hear myself
(...Does she need to think out loud? Being a pain in the ass wasn't enough, now she has to be a fucking oxymoron?)
Wouldn't it be nice if I could just go solo, take the day off?
(Um...last time I checked, you were a solo singer. Unless you've adopted multiple personalities.)
I'd be alright if you would leave me to it, back out the door
Ay ya ya ya ya
You're talking way too much
You tell me one more time how I should live
I swear I'll bite your head off
(I'd like to see her unhinge her jaw and try.)
I am who I am And I can't be no one else
You got nothing left to say
(Somehow I doubt that since the song is still continuing.)
Keep your comments to yourself
Awww!
(Aww? AWW? How the fuck does this even FIT into the song?! Are we suddenly wanting the ponies and giraffes to get out of our heads?!)
Outta my, outta my head
Want you outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
Get outta my head
Outta my outta my head
Want you outta my head
Outta my, outta my head
(Sadly, this is the end.)
Words cannot even begin to express how much I hate this song...but what makes it even more terrible is that I have it on repeat. It's like there's subliminal messaging in it, telling me to listen to Ashlee Simpson, buy every Avril Lavigne CD and make a chocolate cake while I'm at it.
Damn you, Ashlee Simpson.
And damn you, Timbaland.
I can't even say that I want this song out of my head, because that just starts the cycle over.
Something tells me when I go to hell, songs like this are going to be on repeat...and while hell sounds like a good deal in a sense...if Avril or Ashlee are playing over the loud speakers, I'm probably going to wish I'd become a nun.
Damn you, Ashlee Simpson.
And damn you, Timbaland.
I can't even say that I want this song out of my head, because that just starts the cycle over.
Something tells me when I go to hell, songs like this are going to be on repeat...and while hell sounds like a good deal in a sense...if Avril or Ashlee are playing over the loud speakers, I'm probably going to wish I'd become a nun.
