Words cannot express how much I adore Britney Spears.
A connoisseur of all things pop culture...Britney Spears is the absolute icon. She dances. Her music is catchy as hell...and most of all, she's human.
When I was in high school, the individualist in me detested everything Brit stood for...but secretly, I'd lock myself in my bedroom and dance to her music as if there was no tomorrow. If N'Sync was the personification of the type of boy all fourteen-year-olds wanted to date...then Britney was the personification of what we all aspired to be. Say what you will...deny it. But know deep down that that statement's true.
Then when I got to college, I figured that hiding such idoltry was in vain, especially when she was putting herself out there to be ridiculed. I wore my Britney love on my sleeve...and ultimately, it led me to meeting my best friend, Honkus.
From that point on, I had a companion that loved Britney as much (if not much, much more) than I did. Having someone else there telling me that such an obsession was okay (even if it does go overboard sometimes) made the whole thing spiral even further. We watched her greatest hits DVD together. We cringed at the scary guy on the Onyx tour. We made music videos to her songs.
When Honkus left Point Park, our friendship stayed solid for entirely different reasons...but Britney has always been a part of the strong glue that holds our friendship together.
And then Britney started dating Kevin Federline. I'm convinced that things hadn't been happy in Brit's world for awhile...but the KFed days in Britney's life always seemed a little bizarre to me. Needless to say, words cannot express the joy I felt in November of 2006 when Brit announced she was divording Kevin Federline. The weeks that followed were a whirlwind. The girl seemed to be finally getting back on track. Sure, she was a few years older with a couple of kids...but it felt like we were growing up with her.
Then...when I was studying abroad in London during the spring of 2007, the unthinkable happened. Britney cracked. Shaving her head. In and out of rehab. Psych holds. Shady friends. Across the ocean, all I could wonder is 'What the hell is happening to my idols?' (At this time, Jenna Jameson...another one of my idols...was extremely skinny and terrifying looking. I commented on more than one occassion that she just needed to 'eat a sandwich.')
2007 in terms of Britney can only be described as shaky. Her personal life was in shambles...she lost her kids, she lost her freedom. But if this was the dark time of Miss Spears, then 'Blackout,' her first album released in years...was truly the diamond in the rough. While Britney refused to do publicity and wasn't well enough to tour, this album was strange. Her life was a wreck...but the album's tracks were incredible. For the first time ever, I could listen to an entire Britney CD without cringing at one cheesy track (half of 'Baby One More Time' anyone?). From "Piece of Me" to "Break the Ice," the album was completely unexpected from someone who clearly was going through something terribly personal.
Through all of this, Honkus and I stayed glued to the Britney fansites we read every day.
And it was during this dark period, that I grew from obsessing over Britney as an idol to actually thoroughly deeply respecting her as a human being. My own social awkwardness, anxiety and OCD were something that I'd seen as a downfall...something holding me back. Seeing Britney dealing with similar mental issues made me realize that it doesn't matter where you come from or what you have. The world's a hard place. The difference was that I could deal with my mental anguish in private and her's was recorded and documented for the world to see.
2008 rolled around and more guarded than ever...Britney's managed to turn things around for the better. "Womanizer" was released and put Britney back into the game for good.
Last nite, she performed on the Bambi Awards in Germany...and while the performance was better than last year's disastrous VMA appearance...she still seemed guarded and nervous. The performance worried me. Was she really ready for the comeback? Was she just doing this because it was expected of her? But today, she performed on France's "Star Academy"...and blew the performance straight out of the water. She was engaging...she was into it...she was the Britney that we haven't seen in years.
Unlike the end of the Bambi Awards performance, she looked genuinely happy at the end of the end of the performance.
And all I could do was smile at the end of it. Here's this idol I've had for years that I've stood up for and devoted a huge chunk of my life to...a girl who's not much older than me that's helped me cement the best friendship of my life and shown me that it's okay to go a bit crazy...it makes you more human. Flaws are part of life.
Her new album "Circus" drops on December 2. The tracks off of it are insane. They're catchy as hell and true to Brit's roots. Long gone are terrible songs like "Soda Pop" and "Dear Diary." Instead, they're replaced with catchy tracks like "Circus" and "Mannequin." Even the bonus tracks off the CD are infectious.
So needless to say...Britney's back. She may not be the crazy Britney we all knew and grew up with...but she's older and she still comes alive when she dances.
And as long as she's willing to take us along on this crazy roller coaster that she calls her life...I'm more than willing to hang on for the ride.
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